Welcome to the World of Humor by Adarsh

I had a lot of collection of Jokes. However I don't have a softcopy of them and its really boring typing them all. Nevertheless, I have mad a genuine attempt. Hope you like them !!!

1.  Three HDFC employees and three ICICI employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three ICICI employees each buy tickets and watch as the three HDFC employees buy only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only on ticket?" asks a ICICI employee. "Watch and you'll see", answers an HDFC employee. They all board the train.  The ICICI employees take their respective seats but all three HDFC employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket please...". The door opens just a little and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.  The conductor takes it and moves on. The ICICI employees saw this and agreed it was a clever idea.
After the conference, the ICICI employees decide to copy the HDFC employees (.....as they know how.......) on the return trip and save some money (being cleaver with money and all). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the HDFC employees don't buy a ticket. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks a ICICI employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers the HDFC employee.  When they board, the three ICICI employees cram into a restroom and the three HDFC employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the HDFC employee leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the ICICI employees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please..."  The door opens just a little and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The HDFC employee grabs the ticket and runs to his restroom.
 SO GUYS.........

2. In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber."I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask.

"Why does the male brain cost so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."



4.The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.
   The game of choice for frontline workers is football. 
   The game of choice for middle management is tennis. 
   The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
  Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.

5. Banta Singh was taking a Sunbath on a beach in US. A woman came to him and asked. "Are you Relaxing ?" . The answer came, "No, I am Banta Singh". A few minutes later a child came to him and asked the same question. " Are you Relaxing?". Banta again said, "No I am Banta Singh", in a slightly irritated tone. Later a man came to him and asked the same question and got the same answer. Now Banta decided to move away from the place. At a distance he saw another Sardar, taking a sunbath on the beach. He went to him and asked "Are you Relaxing?" This Sardar was intelligent for a change. He said " Yes, I am Relaxing". Banta immediately slapped the other Sardar and said "Abe Saale, Sab Tujhe wahan dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahan aaram farma raha hai ?"

6.  A Telugu guy was travelling in an aeroplane. James Bond was sitting next to him. The Telugu guy excitedly asked him, "What's your name?" The answer came, "Bond.......... James Bond". Next James Bond asked the same question to the Telugu guy and the answer came something like this.
 Rama Murthy....
 Govind Rama Murthy...
 Venkataramana Govind Rama Murthy....
 Lakshmi Venkataramana Govind Rama Murthy....
 Varaha Lakshmi Venkataramana Govind Rama Murthy....
 Kalluri Varaha Lakshmi Venkataramana Govind Rama Murthy...."

The Telugu guy was still continuing while James Bond fainted !!!

7. A person was leaning against a tall skyscraper and smoking. He was a chain smoker and kept on smoking cigarettes continuously. An old man was watching him closely. After a while, he came up to the smoker and started talking.

Old Man :  "Excuse me sir, how many cigarettes do you smoke per day ? "

Smoker: " Around 50 "

Old Man : " My God !!!  How long have you been smoking ? "

Smoker : " From past 25 years "

Old Man :" That's more than 456250 cigarettes, if you were a non smoker you could have saved enough money to purchase this skyscraper. "

Smoker :   " Do you smoke ? "

Old Man :  "Never"

Smoker  :  "Do you own this building ? "

Old Man :  "No"

Smoker : " Well I do "